There once was a powerful penis
attached to a great man named Dennis.
In and out it did thrust
To satisfy his carnal lusts.
Now discarded, a fine instrument gathering dust.
***********************************************************
Enter Dennis and Jide…
Ah! Dennis there you are!
You know you are our star!
Where have you been?
At our parties you’ve not been seen
For weeks and even a month now!
My dear fellow, I’m no coward, not yellow,
I just wanted to mellow
You know…chill
I will roll with the boys still
Come another day, perhaps tomorrow.
Dennis I hear your words
But I see your eyes
These words are lies.
Whats wrong? It’s me your guy!
You know you can’t lie.
We’ve even had threesomes together
What manner of stormy weather
Can put us asunder?
Dennis, Speak your mind.
Jide, my friend, you are kind
But I just need to unwind…
Dennis! Speak you mind!!!
Jide, I have HIV.
Do you see?
How terrible could that be?
Between you and me
There is no problem that we…
…Wait… what?
Ehn?
#pause
Dennis? Wetin you say?
Abeg, Abeg, talk say na play
Na your bodi HIV dey?
Yes Jide, I just found out a month ago today.
That’s why I’ve been in dismay
I did not know what to say
The girls have been looking for me
But they are the last people I want to see
So guy, wait…
Junior Dennis the great
The penis the ladies admired
Has been retired
Since this disease has come?
Kai! Where did you get it from?
It could have been Ndidi, Sandra or Bola,
Maybe Abigail, Chinwe or Sola
Even Ekaette, Uju or Amina
The truth is I don’t know.
You know I’ve never been slow
If I seen a chance, I go!
Sometimes I didn’t use protection
I’ve always been a man of action
Only aimed for satisfaction…
NO!!! Dennis! But why? Kai!
Did the doctor say you would die?
NO. I just need my medication
Been looking for some motivation
To go on.
I can never have sex again
The thought brings physical pain
I have nothing left to live for
I’m shaken to the core
Jide what will I do?
Oh, ehen, sorry, I didn’t hear you
I was chatting with Andrew
Paroles dey tonight
The babes are tight
The mood is right
Sorry I can’t stay
Maybe you should go and pray
It’s a pity you can’t come
There are enough chicks and then some
Wetin you talk again? HIV abi?
God is your muscle, Jesus is your padi.
As for me
I’ve got to go.
Ahn! Jide? Is this life?
Exit
**************************************
PENILE ZOMBIE – A song – to be sung in tune to FELAs Zombie
Zombie-o, zombie
*[CHORUS] ZOMBIE-O, ZOMBIE (2X)
Zombie go just dey salute, once you touch im bodi
*[CHORUS] ZOMBIE *(after each line)
Zombie no go stop, unless e reach where e dey go
Zombie no go slow, unless you moan “go slow”
Zombie no go fast, unless you shout “harder, harder”
Zombie-o, zombie
*[CHORUS] ZOMBIE-O, ZOMBIE (2X)
Tell am to go rape– Joro, Jara, Joro
No logic, no reasoning, no sense– Joro, Jara, Joro
Tell am to go cheat– Joro, Jara, Joro
No love, no care, no thought– Joro, Jara, Joro
Tell am to commit adultery– Joro, Jara, Joro
No wife, no kids, no life– Joro, Jara, Joro
Go and rape
*[CHORUS] JORO, JARA, JORO *(after each line)
Go and fuck
Go and do** **(do…do…destroy)
Put am for there!
Go and chook!
Go and gbensh!
Go and knack (3x)
Joro, Jara, Joro- O Zombie way na one way (3x)
Joro, Jara, Joro- Ooooh
Attention!
*[CHORUS] ZOMBIE
Stand up!
Wear condom!
enter mouth!
enter front!
enter back!
Double speed
Sa-lute
Cowgirl
Doggystyle
thrust in
thrust out
Speed up
Get ready *(2x)
Arrrgghhhhhhh!!!
Yes! *(Repeat 3x from “Attention”)
*[CHORUS] ZOMBIE
Dis-miss
Theater of my mind 