So it appears that crazy is the new in-thing. These days, everybody either has an alter ego, fancy psychological problems, says deliberately controversial things which they don’t even understand and/or refers to themselves in the third person. Multiple personalities are like the latest in high street fashion and controversial utterances are like the latest in hair extensions. I don’t understand it.
Personally, I choose to blame Lady Gaga for all this bloody rubbish. “Why Lady Gaga?”, you ask? Because she is satans bride, the mother of morbidity, queen of the demons, the choir mistress in the evil demon army youth choir that lives in Terry G’s head and the harbinger of all evil. I personally hold her responsible for global warming as well as the growing multicolor skinny jeans epidemic currently ravaging the Nigerian male youth population but I have no evidence to validate this as yet and my cousin who is a lawyer has told me that I cannot publish my theories on her evil plan to take over the world with her frankenstein monster of recycled 80’s pop music, stale Madonna swag and decaying body parts, Marilyn Manson-esque personality all doused heavily in Electronic sound to make it seem fresh. So, reluctantly, I will just toss the allegations out there and let them marinate in your brain juice like the chorus of ‘poker face’.
Seriously, when did having an alter ego, acting like stark raving lunatic and being fickle in your approach to life become so popular? 10 years ago, if you acted like this, no one would talk to you, they would brand you a ‘weirdo’ and excommunicate you from all the social circles that mattered. But now they shout “You’re crazzzzyyyy son!” While laughing themselves into a coma over your obviously insane behaviour and inviting you to the most awesome parties and/or offering you drinks and sex. Its all very confusing and for those of us that have been functionally insane long since before it was cool, quite frankly, aggravating. We were watching Rammstein videos and shouting “fire Fruer” whilst you people were busy crooning “Baby hit me one more time”. We identified with Kelis screaming ‘I hate you so much right now’ when you were busy fawning all over destinys child. All of a sudden, everybody likes ‘rock’ and ‘weird’ stuff. Ah well, weldone. Carry on. More KY Jelly to your elbow.
On behalf of everyone that has been living on the border of madness and awesomeness long before the territorial boundaries were drawn, I implore you, please in the name of Chuck Norris, stop famzing with us and let us be. Crazy is not and never has been sexy and it is most assuredly not cool. Its just what it is. CRAZY. And we like it that way.
ThinkTank D. Jester (Esq)
Global Association of Somewhat Functional and Marginally Awesome yet Obviously Crazy-People (GASFMAOCP)
I wrote this 5 months ago. I was also bored on a train and needed to write something silly to entertain myself. I nevger intended to post it but hey… whatever. Enjoy. Or not.