Cocktail

I don’t have the will to write or do anything else right now so I’ll just post this little thing which I wrote on Monday and edit it to fit today. Cheers to your weekend. Mine? Not so much.

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I detest beer, lager, stout and all the other vile ‘Liqueurs de struggle’ that many people seem to enjoy drinking. Why anyone would imbibe a liquid that tastes like a pee-soaked carton in the name of enjoyment is and has always been beyond me. But for those of you that participate in its consumption, carry on,  its your taste and as the Latin maxim goes “De gustibus non disputandum est” ….“one must not dispute about tastes.” However while there will be no dispute, there will be mockery and derision from me to you – the consumers of ‘Liqueurs de struggle’.

Despite my utter distaste for ‘Liqueurs de Struggle’ I do enjoy all other alcohols. Quite a bit. I am an ardent advocate of drinking in the appropriate quantities and I have always enjoyed drinking cocktails and any other alcoholic beverage that is not a ‘Liqueur de struggle’. Recently, I have begun to take an interest in creating cocktails of my own and spreading the gospel of Cocktails to the unfortunate multitude that are still consuming ‘Liqueurs de struggle’.

The official definition of a Cocktail according to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary is “an iced drink of wine or distilled liquor mixed with flavoring ingredients.” That’s a very broad definition, but reflects the modern practice of referring to almost any mixed drink as a Cocktail. To that that wish to know, I personally define a Cocktail as a stimulating *wink* drink, composed of any mixture of alcoholic spirits, fruits/fruit juices, sugar, water, carbonated drinks, spices, ice, herbs, creams and/or bitters. This emphasizes my own assertions that so-called non-alcoholic cocktails are a meaningless misnomer and that you can toss more or less anything into a cocktail. Basically, a cocktail is a drink tailor-made to suit the drinkers preferences for alcohol content, sweetness, etc. Most of us are familiar with the standard issue cocktails: Margaritas, Daiquiris, Pina Coladas, Long Island Iced Teas, Cuba Libres, Bloody Marys, Martinis….etc, etc, etc. There are literally thousands of cocktails that have been created, more are made every year and most of them are glorious.

For those of you that somehow think that drinking ‘Liqueurs de struggle’ is ‘Manly’ and cocktails are ‘Girly’, I will simply remind you that James Bond – arguably the standard of manliness, awesomeness and coolness – only drinks Vodka Martinis. Thus validating my belief that vodka is the nectar of greatness and Cocktails are the drink of fine, smart, cultured, virile, manly men.

Manliness- Vodka. Cocktail. That will be all.

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Anyway, about 4 weeks ago, I had a small sleepover/party at my place and with the help of my friend Tele, I entertained my guests with cocktails: Mojitos, Tequila sunrises, Whiskey dry’s and Vodka, Apple juice and Lemonade mixture which I particularly enjoy. However, when the Mojitos were consumed in a blur by both of us before the rest of our guests arrived, I was forced to concoct a new cocktail and thus the Telly Tumbler was born (obviously, I named it after her because she’s cool like that). After serving it at another friends birthday party the next day, the demand was so high that I had to make it four more times. Since then, I have been inundated with requests for the recipe and I have decided to share it here with you all here, in the largest forum I could find.  So here you go:

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The Telly Tumbler

You will need:

Vodka, Lemonade, Apple juice, Mint leaves, Fresh Lemons (sliced into quarters), Green apples (diced into small pieces -optional), Crushed Ice or Ice cubes, a large jug or a cocktail blender, a stirrer (or just a regular spoon), glasses

You do:  

1. Pour the crushed ice/cubes into the jug/blender – as much as desired

2. Add about 10 – 15 whole mint leaves

3. Pour in 1 part vodka  over the ice and mint (or 2 parts for a stronger variant)

4. Pour in 2 parts lemonade

5. Add 2 parts apple juice

6. Take 1 quarter sliced lemon and squeeze into the mixture, toss the lemon whole in as well

7. Add the diced apples (optional) and stir the mixture

8. Pour into glasses, serve and be great

(Feel free to chew the mint leaves and apple pieces as they add an interesting flavour as you drink)

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I also obtained a recipe for a gin cocktail from Uche (@theblackhermit) – one of the two main proponents of gin on my TL, the other being the mistress @miafarradaily. I love vodka and will continue to do so but I tried it, I liked it, I added a small touch to it. Here it is for you all to make and enjoy:

Sex on the Balcony

You will need:

Gin, Peach Schnapps, Pineapple and Coconut juice, Actual Pineapples (Sliced into small wedges), Crushed Ice or Ice cubes, a large jug or a cocktail blender, a stirrer (or just a regular spoon), glasses

You will do:

1. Pour ice as desired into the vessel

2. Pour in 2 parts gin

3. Add 1 part peach schnapps

4. Add 1 part pineapple and coconut juice. (Or 2 parts for a lighter variant)

5. Stir and Pour into glass

6. Decorate with pineapple wedge on the glass

7. Drink and enjoy.

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So there you have it. Two cocktails created by people you kind of, sort of, know (at least if you are on twitter) – one of whom is yours truly. Feel free to make them this weekend and in so doing, take a plunge into greatness and renounce consumption of ‘Liqueurs de struggle’. You may also find recipes for some of the standard cocktails mentioned in this post as well as several others, here.

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I shall be making some tonight and drowning my emotions in them. I may tweet pictures as well to assist those that wish to make any of these themselves.  Feel free to join me if you have demons and emotions that you wish to drown.#

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Cheers to the weekend.

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